Focal Point

Focal Point found here

I just got back from a long walk across the neighborhood. It seemed the thing to do, after I was terribly offended by behavior that I do not deserve. The acts committed may have been offered unwittingly by underdeveloped individuals who are not known for their insight. All of these things can be said for the offenders. Maybe they didn't mean it--but the turn of the lip, the disdainful glance--these things tell me there has been intention behind the offenses. Nothing felt good about it whatever. Because I had nothing to say about it (nor was I given the opportunity to respond), the best choice was to clear my head with a long walk.

God got an earful.

"After all I've done for them, they go and do this. And they really need what I provide for them, too. Don't they have any idea? How can they be so ungrateful?"

"Lord, am I just to take it?" Would Christ have just taken it?

Most likely. After making a point during a teachable moment.

"But Lord, there was no teachable moment. The offense is one in a series of bad behaviors that have been supported by others who should set a better example, but seem to be oblivious of my feelings and needs." In fact, those who should be responsible seem to enjoy seeing me squirm and faced with difficulties. Even though I have done nothing to hurt them and have only ever been positive, helpful, and respectful in their presence. This, I know better than I know anything else.

The sky was silent as I walked down the street under swooshing trees. The wind has been gusting and it looked dark and ominous over the mountains.

"Lord, do I try to address this, or let it go?" These are people who have not been given very good education in the manners department. They are rude, inconsiderate, self-centered, and passive aggressive. I know this, too, from years of informed observation.

"Do I smile and pretend that I'm not affected by this? Will they one day look back and realize what their behavior has done? Would that even be helpful to them?"

"Should I just go my own way and ignore them and their self-centered, irresponsible behavior?"

My guts churned and I slowed down my walk so I could take more time outside. "Help me, Lord." I was so full of resentment and hurt. In my heart of hearts, I would be glad never to see any of these people again.

The thought suddenly occurred to me that this is really an issue of focus. If I arrange my behavior, mood, and response around the inappropriate acts of other people, then I will be saturated with their negativity and "badness." They will loom large on the horizon of my soul as I am consumed with the overt bad behavior and inuendo that constantly vies for my attention. But as a Christian, my focus should be on Christ and the life that I hope to live forever with Him. What happens here on earth is really not worth diverting my attention from the end goal. Other people's bad behavior is not my reference point, even though it is vexing and hurtful.

Very, very hurtful.

"Is this how the apostles and martyrs did it, Lord? Not that I'm a martyr (but I feel like one today). Was Stephen so focused on the Blessed Hope that even though he was killed, his focus remained on You instead of those who stoned him? Did Paul and Barnabas maintain their focus on you, even though they were beaten and put in stocks? I'm sure they were abused and verbally disparaged. But there they were, singing in prison, thinking only of You. Because in the long run, a few snarls, being hit with clubs, having bruises and even losing one's mortal life here, is really a drop in the bucket compared to the ocean of possibility and power that there is in the life in which God is an active participant.

This makes sense to me.

When I lived in St. Paul, I had the fortune of renting an apartment adjacent to the largest preserved Victorian neighborhood in the country. The homes were gorgeous and immense. I used to walk down the street, gazing up at them, admiring the lines of the architecture and landscaping, and dreaming of what I'd do with the house if it were mine. My little apartment was a hovel compared to what I was able to look at down the street. More than once, I tripped over the sidewalk or walked into bushes because I was looking up. I didn't mind these little glitches in my walk--they were almost humorous unless I fell (which I did when it was icy outside). But I always went back home with visions of another time, and dreams in my head of what it must be to have mansions with gables, dumbwaiters, and ballrooms inside.

Perhaps this is somewhat similar to how a changed focal point will help me in the present situation. The bad behavior will be dealt with by God because I am not in a position to do it. I will watch for teachable moments, but ultimately, these folks must answer to God for what they are doing. In the meantime, I want to keep looking up--not in an avoidant way, as one would who simply refuses to deal with present issues--but as one whose eyes and energy are drawn elsewhere, and whose path and purpose cannot be thwarted by whatever the world serves up.

For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time

are not worthy to be compared with the glory

which shall be revealed in us.

Romans 8:18