Something Boring

Bob is soaking in the tub one morning and wife, Ann, comes to the door. "What do you want for breakfast, honey?"

He thinks a minute. Not being a chef himself, his repertoire of breakfast food menu items is somewhat circumscribed. "How about oatmeal?"

Ann draws back in horror. "Oatmeal! That's so boring!"

He chuckles. "Ok. Make anything you want." Bob was raised to eat anything put before him, and with nine siblings and a preacher father, he was happy to eat what was put before him.

He sinks back into the tub as he hears Ann rattling pans and rustling up something in the kitchen. It was a late breakfast--more like a brunch, so there was no hurry for him to get to the table.

When he went, there was some sort of vegetarian pattie in a sandwich on his plate. They said grace and he fell to. Ann took a bite and immediately put her sandwich down on her plate. Bob took a bite and thought to himself, "This is absolutely horrible!" But the texture was right, the look was right. It just tasted hideous. But being someone raised to clean his plate without any comment about the taste of the food, he finished off his sandwich, all the while chattering happily to Ann. As he finished up, he saw Ann's unfinished sandwich on her plate and the horrible thought crossed his mind that he might have to eat hers, too. Because in his way of thinking, it is not acceptable to waste food even if it does taste hideous.

Well, she in fact was not going to eat it. What to do? He could hardly get the taste of that pattie out of his mouth. Looking around, there sat Rufus, staring with that hangdog expression on his face. We can feed Ann's pattie to the dog! Out they went, Rufus scampering behind him, excited to have an unexpected between meals treat.

Bob put the sandwich down on the step out back for him. Rufus rushed forward eagerly, and with one sniff of the pattie, backed away immediately.

"Oh no," Ann said quietly. "It is bad."

What could have made it taste so horrible? she went over the ingredients that had gone into it. After much consideration, they made an interesting discovery. She had used peanut oil from an unmarked container that they had taken with them on a trip to California to fry these little dainties. She'd wondered why little tiny bubbles came out of the patties as they cooked.

What else is yellow and makes little bubbles?

Dish soap.

Hurray for the dish soap breakfast sandwich patties!

This morning, Bob is in the bathtub having a soak. Ann pops her head in the bathroom. "Honey, what do you want for breakfast?

"Something boring."

(Thanks to my cousin's gregarious husband for sharing this great story with me today).