This week I'm teaching an intensive master's level course on group therapy. One of my colleagues teaches the class for three hours in the morning. After lunch the class breaks into three groups of students. Two hour-long groups are facilitated by teams of students in the room, followed by my discussion about what happened. We then process the feelings and answer questions that came up during the previous group experience. My job is to be the go-to person when the leaders get stuck or lead the group off, away from the work.
You would think that students would hate having to be vulnerable with one another and be group members, lead by their peers. They are told that they don't have to share anything personal. They can discuss their disgust over their lunch (D-list), their difficulty getting through their graduate program (C-list), the way they believe their family culture has impacted the way they interact with others (B-list), or things like their sexual orientation concerns or suicidal feelings they may have once had (A-list). On the basis of what I've seen and heard, the students went almost immediately to the B-list and a few are struggling with A-list issues (not listed here). The last couple year's students have told "horror stories" about how hard the class is and how the students should not plan to do therapy with their own clients during the class. I think they're right. The students leave at the end of the day feeling droopier and worn out more than the day before. And yet they come back the next day feeling rested, adjusted to the fact that they have divulged information to one another and given voice to some of their worst fears--and off they go again.
It reminds me of the Morning Glories growing over the fence at the side of the house. They are gorgeous in the morning: pristine, dew-covered (more like still wet from the sprinklers), open and full. In the heat of the sun they close and look dead. Right now they are these ugly little off-white shrivelettes dangling forlornly over the fence. But in the morning, they will be beautiful again: full periwinkle, luminescent blooms in a burst of color against the black wrought iron and trailing down from the cypress tree.
Every day this week, as I've sat on a couch off to the side of the group of students who are sitting in a circle, I've thought about resilience and near-death experiences. Yes, death. There are some things that if said aloud, make a person feel that they can't survive. There have been many, many tears in our group. Some people have said things that scared them, that they've never given utterance to before. Encouraged and supported by the other group members, they push ahead, making slow inroads into their own unexplored regions. I am convinced anew that the explored self represents some of the most difficult work in the world. And as students come back the next day, there is a new sense of peace and ease that they have about themselves. They are becoming therapists who are safe to work with troubled souls because they now have respect for the pain that comes from that internal stretch that it takes to grow. What an honor to share this with these wonderfully sensitive and gifted people.
Every day this week, as I've sat on a couch off to the side of the group of students who are sitting in a circle, I've thought about resilience and near-death experiences. Yes, death. There are some things that if said aloud, make a person feel that they can't survive. There have been many, many tears in our group. Some people have said things that scared them, that they've never given utterance to before. Encouraged and supported by the other group members, they push ahead, making slow inroads into their own unexplored regions. I am convinced anew that the explored self represents some of the most difficult work in the world. And as students come back the next day, there is a new sense of peace and ease that they have about themselves. They are becoming therapists who are safe to work with troubled souls because they now have respect for the pain that comes from that internal stretch that it takes to grow. What an honor to share this with these wonderfully sensitive and gifted people.
Therefore, we do not lose heart.
Though outwardly we are wasting away
yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.
2 Corinthians 4:16
1 comment:
You say, "The explored self represents some of the most difficult work in the world."
This whole post is fascinating. For me, I read it through the lense of ministry and the spiritual work that we are doing through our faith community. This is really helpful insight!
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