Found hereI am supposed to be on vacation this week. My boss has mandated that I take two weeks off to play and get rejuvinated. I am on an American vacation--work in the evening, play so hard during the day that dropping into bed is the only appealing idea when I get home. Only I can't because there is too much to be done first.
I'm falling behind in how the house looks, keeping up with home projects, writing in this blog, not to mention all the things I have to do at work: publications, projects, meetings, presentations, course preparation. So I am taking an American vacation.
When I was in Germany, my friends wondered why I was traveling in the country for only two weeks. Why not take a couple weeks and go to the spa or the sea? I could lay around, get massages, read, and doze in the sun or mud baths. Instead, I ran like a crazy woman through Germany, taking in every castle, cathedral, historical site, and mountain I could conquer, snapping photos as I raced by. I saw so many wonderful things and ended up with marvelous memories: historical facts and images to go with them. But when I got home I was utterly spent. I needed a vacation just to sleep and get caught up with myself. It seems that this is how Americans relax.
Why is it so hard to slow down and make my health Number One here? There are lots of reasons. Perhaps because it took me 24 years to get my PhD after I started school. After all that time waiting to do what I want, I find it very hard to say no to fun-sounding things that I've always wanted to do. Maybe because I'm compulsive. I don't want to put my name on anything second rate. Maybe because I'm trying to prove that I'm capable, smart, worthy of holding an advanced degree--something that I've wondered about over the years. What my boss says may also be true: I have higher standards for myself than anyone else has. Maybe I want to give something back to my parents in the form of accomplishments that they can feel positive about. Maybe I'm approval seeking or narcissistic and want to get accolades for myself. Maybe I want to make important contributions to my field that will save relationships, lives, and homes. Whatever the motivation, I'm going 100 mph from morning til night and it's wearing me out.
At this point, I'm 45 lbs. overweight, have gastric reflux, fatigue, and mild sleep apnea. I also suffer from adhesions that feel like my appendix is on the fritz. I've been short of breath more than once--when I'm just sitting still--and have had palpitations and chest pressure.
Although there hasn't been adequate time to sit and let my mind idly reflect about my life, I have been able to realize through my catecholamine waves that I really must do something about how I'm living. Here's what I want to do:
1. Walk for 1/2 hour three times per week
2. Work out at the gym for upper body strength twice per week
3. Cut out at least 1/2 of the sugar and 1/4 of the calories I eat every day
4. Go to bed no later than 10:00 p.m.
5. Take at least 15 minutes each morning for prayer, Bible reading and reflection
6. Make time every single day to relax and engage in a pleasurable leisure activity
This seems a good beginning. And a much needed remedy for my faltering wellbeing.
Here I come...
2 comments:
Oh, I do recognized the "American vacation."
Wishing you well on the changes....
Barbara, I hope this is still going well for you...
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