What did the kids see?

A story of abuse is never over until we see what happened to the children and grandchildren of the abuser. The Bible doesn't tell us much about these individuals, except for the incident in which Jacob's sons killed the entire male population in a city for violating their sister. Apparently they had zero tolerance for abusive behavior and rather than dealing with the guilty parties, they took it out on the entire city.

But before we leave the story of Laban, there are questions that need to be noted--unanswered questions:
What did the children see?
What did they think about their grandfather chasing them as if they were criminals?
Did they see their mothers and father cower?
Did they feel the stress in the family because of the working conditions of their father?
Did they see how dishonest their grandfather was?
Did they hear explanations for Laban's behavior from his daughters?
Did they learn to associate power with abuse and deceit?
Did it seem a normal thing to them to have intrigue in hierarchical relationships?

Those who live in abusive relationships forget that what they allow to continue, what becomes a daily pattern, becomes internalized by the children who watch. Far too often, the children look for romantic partners who will keep this pattern alive--the call of the familiar is equaled only by the anxiety of being in a relationship with unfamiliar rules and behavior. So this continues on and on. Be careful what you do and what you allow in your home. It sets the template for your children's marriage and personal fulfillment in the future.

As for the story of Laban the abuser, I have read this story over time and again, despised him, and moved on. It was only recently that I read more slowly and realized that his behavior was so typical of abusers. I hope this has been a useful discussion for the readers. It has for me.