June 17, 2012
A big breath and life changes
Life has taken a major shift since I posted anything on this blog last. I was asked to create a new position at our local medical center called, Director of Physician Vitality. I politely declined when asked to apply for the job. After all, I really loved my students and seeing the lights come on for them as they connected ideas to practice, was the highlight of my experience. But one guy didn't let up and asked me to apply more than once. So I did.
Within two weeks I was asked to interview for the job. I thought that I just might, just for the experience of going through interviews in various settings.
As a courtesy, I told my Chair that I was going to go through with the interview saying, "This will be just a lark." He narrowed his eyebrows and suggested that I take it seriously.
My heart sank and I wondered if he wanted to get rid of me from the faculty. Had I really been so much trouble to him?
But he said, "Barbara--in this life you must keep only a few things in mind and in this order: God, family, and your future. I suggest that you consider whether or not the new job wouldn't be just right for you. I think it has your name written all over it."
So I went through with the interview the next day and was sold on the idea of it very quickly. We had narrative interviews, which consists of being asked questions such as, "Tell me a story of a time when you were very disappointed and how you used the disappointment for your good" or, "Tell me about a time when you realized that someone wasn't acting ethically and what you did about it." I talked up a storm and loved the process--these are the best interviews ever! Two of the three interviewers told me that I was their top pick and that they would go to bat to get me into the job. All three of them kept me almost 30 minutes over the hour that was allotted for each interview.
During lunch there was a group of physicians who discussed why they felt my position was needed. Three of them were choked up and tearful in telling me very touching stories from their practice that illustrated how much they previously have needed someone to help them debrief after awful patient deaths, etc. I might not know much about physician vitality, but I do know how to help people process their feelings around loss.
The rest is history.
I've now been in this new job since July 11th last year.
When the new job started, I didn't realize it, but I was horribly burned out from teaching. Linear, organized thinking and acting is not part of my behavioral repertoire. I am disorganized, don't like having to do thing by the clock, work at about 10 projects at the same time, want to do things my way, and become unbelievably frustrated sitting in committee meetings. All of those deadlines and timeframes when one has to get lectures prepared, put together syllabi, grade papers in a timely manner, and hammer away at dissertations at two week intervals. It just wasn't apparent to me at the time, that it had been very hard to keep up that kind of structured pace for 5 years.
I cried every day for two months.
Every day.
Ten months later I am doing well: thriving and thoroughly enjoying the creativity and pace of this new job. I get to do things that are more akin to my bent: hang out with physicians who need support, create a website, write articles, feed residents--all of these kinds of things that are fun.
I'm back now. Hope to see how productive I can be now, both in life and here.
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