God's Annointing

Yesterday evening we held an annointing service for Olga. I was taken aback when I saw her waiting outside the church office. Her belly is enormous--full of fluid that has collected because her liver is no longer able to function and her blood protein is therefore seriously depleted. She is beginning to look a bit jaundiced and she was breathing hard. I believe that her heart has become fibrous as well as her liver, since she has all the symptoms of heart failure. Her legs are enormous: fluid backed up that her heart can't pump through her body. But she has faith that she will survive.
In speaking with her and hearing how gravely ill she has been, I asked her if she had considered being annointed. The book of James (in the Bible) indicates that anyone who is sick should call together the elders of the church and be annointed with oil in the name of the Lord. "And the prayer of faith shall raise up the sick and they shall be healed." And their sins will be forgiven them. Olga had not considered this before, but four hours before I suggested it, her choir chaplain had spoken to her at length about it.
For days I have been reduced to tears when I think of Olga, struggling along, so sick, wishing she can live to see her grandchild grow. Her life has been one long continuous series of brick walls that she has slowly ambled over or around, at great cost to herself. But she has never become hopeless, skeptical, or ill-natured. Olga's persona has been one of optimism, hope, cheerfulness, and kindness. I have been deeply impacted by her. So just the thought of her dying has been very hard to consider. And yet just to look at her one can see that her health is almost completely gone.
I have prayed for her recovery and for her peace of heart for many weeks now. As she suffers on, trying to negotiate a healthcare network that has a reputation for running patients around in circles and in general, being inefficient and more interested in cost than patients, I have been impressed at how she has pressed for what she needs. Olga has spent hours on the internet researching her condition, her medications, and the latest studies on treatment. Her doctors just look at her when she asks for changes in dosages or for various tests. "Everything about them says to me, "You're going to die, so why do we need to do this?"" she tells me. So Olga has been praying about how she should take care of herself. She tells me that she often wakes up in the morning thinking about a particular herb or vegetable that she should eat more of. In researching these items, she finds that they have medicinal qualities, and inevitably, she is greatly helped by eating them. For example, she was waking up covered in blood from nosebleeds--a common endstage symptom of liver disease. Her platelets had dropped to the point where she could bleed to death. But she felt impressed to start taking honey and something she calls Propoli--bee pollen. Within a week all her bleeding stopped and her platelets had improved dramatically on her weekly blood draw. Additionally, after taking a particular herb tea, she could breathe easier and she was able to eat three meals in a day--something she hadn't been able to do before due to belly pain and a sense of fullness.

We met at the church yesterday at 4:00. There were 10 of us all together, all of whom shared with her how much she means to us, as a way to affirm and encourage her. Then we discussed what it means to be annointed with oil: it is a sign that we believe God can heal her, and that the Holy Spirit is present to heal physically, spiritually, emotionally, or in all these ways. God invites us to do this in James 5, so we can come boldly to God in faith, asking that He will heal Olga in whatever way He deems best. By looking at her it is clear that she will die within a short time without God's healing. And it might be that He will allow her to die rather than to live. But we have presented her to God by faith and have asked fervently that she will be healed--if this is God's will.

It seemed to be a very affirming and hopeful time for Olga. She tells me that she feels a flood of peace at least twice a day. "I feel that everything is going to be okay, and that i am going to be okay," she says. She told me that she once had a very vivid dream soon after she was diagnosed with Hepatitis C. In this dream she was given the news that she had this dreaded disease. She looked straight into the face of the person who gave the news and said she was going to fight this and that she felt that she could. Olga said that she felt someone else was standing by when she said this and that she couldn't be sure but that it was a heavenly person: an angel or God. When she said she was going to fight the illness she said she felt the immediate and very strong sense of approval from this person in her dream. This seemed to her to mean that she would be able to overcome the disease. Her faith has not flagged since then.

I know God can heal people miraculously, and it is my fervent hope that He will do this for Olga. Over the years I have worked in ICU as a nurse, I have also seen many people with strong faith that they will survive, die. From a human standpoint, her case is hopeless. But we do not know what God's will is for her life. He didn't choose to heal her outright yesterday. Perhaps her condition will improve slowly until she is back to normal health. There is some indication that God does this at times. For this, I pray.

So i am awake at 3:30 this morning, thinking what I might do were I the one dying. To whom would I send letters and what would I say? (I woke up dreaming this). I am also glad that Jesus said that if we have faith as big as a grain of mustard seed, He will cause great things to occur. I know that I have at least that much faith--faith enough to allow her to die or to survive. The annointing service was extremely difficult for me to participate in. I cried through the entire hour and a half experience. Olga's two sons were there, and although both have seemed to have lost an appreciation for God, both prayed and joined in with the service. I know Olga would happily die if her death could be the means of bringing her sons closer to God. I am continuing to pray for Olga day and night. If she is to die, we will bring her to live with us for her last days and give her a dignified death. if she is to live, my life will be incredibly impacted by this manifestation of God's power and grace. It is hard sometimes to allow God to have the last word when we want something so badly. But I am grateful that He invites us still, to ask Him for what we need and for what will be the best witness for Him. Please pray for Olga.