Hypertensive Waterfowl

Found here

Some people hold their health uppermost in their minds. It has become a way of life for them. They eschew sugar and salt naturally and find it easy to bypass wonderful dishes like cream sauce, Godiva chocolate, and brisket. As you well know, I am not one of these individuals. (But fill me with enough brown rice, oatmeal and beans, and I can hardly stomach the thought of any of this).
Mother is. She always has been. Yes, there have been times when my sister sent her a 5 lb. box of See's Chocolates that she hid under the bed so she could eat them all, and a few episodes of ice cream bingeing with my father while watching television in the evening. But for the most part, she sets her face like a flint, as it were, and marches (self-righteously) straight past the desserts. Hers is a world of flaxseed, whole wheat, and vegetables without any sauce, salt, lemon juice, or dressing on them. Let's not forget her "Health Cookies" --even the name makes me shudder. They were awful brown things full of seeds, nuts, raisins, carob, and no sugar. The sheer weight of them was noteworthy. Mother's middle name should have been "Healthy."

Some weeks ago I asked Mother if she would take my old bread and crackers so she could feed them to the ducks, coots, and heron that are in the ponds at the VA. That is where she and her friend walk every morning.
"I have some stale crackers here, some old bread, and these old goldfish crackers that have to go. Oh, and if you can take these stale muffins, that would be great, too."
Mother eyed them skeptically.
"Honey, these are full of sugar and salt. People shouldn't eat them and I'd hate to think what they will do to those birds."
I was surprised. "But they eat slugs and frogs. Surely this is a step above that for them, don't you think?"
She shook her head. "Those ducks are getting fat. It's all that white bread that people have been feeding them. Their arteries must be a sight."
Mother shot a baleful glance at the crackers. "That will give them high blood pressure."
Indeed.
I have had hypertension in the past and it felt awful: throbbing temples, blurred vision, palpitations. I thought I was dying. Would this happen to waterfowl as well? I would not want to see heron falling out of trees, or ducks lying on the grass with their necks straight out, trying to cope with hypertensive headaches--bless their hearts. But then, I'm not sure that they would be bothered. Does anyone out there know? I'd never thought of this before.

So the crackers went into the trash. They shall feed mice at the city dump and so they can deal with the hypertension and obesity epidemic that has hit this country. Bon Appetit!