So I went to my ENT doctor this morning and he came into the exam room holding this little handheld gadget high in one hand, like a trophy. This is how we're going to monitor what is going on in your throat that is giving you such a red throat.
And how are we going to get that down into my throat, I wondered?
The smiling, too-youthful young doctor took an implement and opened my nostril up widely. Another nozzle went into my nose and received a sudden blast of bitter spray--curls of it wafting down my throat and into the other nostril. I sputtered and gasped as he opened up the other nostril and repeated the procedure. A sickening taste dripped down the back of my throat as it became numb.
Now just sniff that down the back of your throat and I'll be back in five minutes to put this monitor down your nose.
I couldn't wait.
A few minutes later Dr. Sweetface strode into the room with a little wire immersed in a glob of lubricant on the end. Okay, here we go. He tilted my head back and started sliding this down my right nostril.
Yikes--not that side!
It went down and was I immediately started coughing and my eyes watered. That little wire felt like it was strangulating me. Maybe wrapped around my uvula. That earned me another blast down the nose.
The end of the long wire was a clip that he fastened to my collar. The wire got two big squares of transparent film stuck over it to hold it to my cheek and then to my neck (that will kill, coming off!)
Apparently, the handheld monitor has to be within 25 feet of my nose at all times. I have to push separate buttons every time I burp, cough, have mucous, eat, sleep, or have heartburn. I had no idea that so much goes on in my throat every day!

I had a friend and her young children visit me this evening. They are on a whirlwind trip from Alaska and they have met many people while down here. To them, I will be "the woman with the wire in her nose." It was an issue of great moment for these children.

I'm dragging off to bed now--time to take my wire to bed. I hope it tells the doctor exactly what he needs to know because I don't want to repeat this any time soon!