"Feeling the Heartbeat" found here

He was a six year-old child with uncombed, rooster-tailed hair, crumbs on his chin and an only partially tucked in blue and yellow polo shirt. Mark and his mother were finishing up a quick lunch together before he was to go back to his cousin's house for the afternoon. "I don't like having to be around Aunt Shiela and Uncle Mortie!" Mark hit the table with his fist for emphasis. "They talk to me like I'm a baby. ...I'm not a baby, Mom, and I don't like it."
Mom was a bright woman who encouraged her son to process things and express his feelings in articulate language. "How do they talk to you like a baby, honey? What do they say?"
"They don't say stuff that makes me feel that way." He paused. "It's something like how I feel around them." He looked off into space while he collected his thoughts.
"And how do you feel around them, son?"
"Like, ...when they're talking to me, they're really not talking to me. To someone else. Like...I'm not there."
"Like you're somewhere else?"
Mark straightened in his chair. "No. Like that guy on The Fantastics, that no one could see."
"Invisible?"
"Yeah, Mom. That's what it was. I don't like it. It makes me feel not real."
It was an important moment: one that Mom wanted to use to give him building blocks for life. "Is there someone who you like to be with because you don't feel invisible with them?"
"Yes!" he cheerily said. "Sarah. I feel REAL with her!"

Sarah was a family friend who often had long talks with Mark. From watching them together, I could see that indeed, Mark felt anything but invisible with her.

A phrase from today's student presentation is ringing in my head tonight: "A child needs to feel "felt."" A child need to know that you see them and are impacted by them. A child who is "felt" is an empowered, child with more hope of developing a healthy self esteem than a child who does not feel "felt," but who feels invisible. That they don't matter.

Reflecting on this, it is also a rare adult to adult relationship (outside one's spouse or family member) who makes a person feel "felt." How does one do this? Do you know what I'm talking about when I use this term? It means taking the time to see, hear, and sense the person in front of you. To look deeply and to connect with her in a way that she knows you "get" her. That what she says finds a safe resting place with you. To treat a child as though s/he is as important as a visiting dignitary. Getting down to his eye level, talking to him in non-instructional, non-sing-songylanguage and inviting responses to complex questions. Listening to her give an entire explanation. Taking time to reflect on her words and give a response that an "important" adult is worth of. Understanding his worldview and validating it by a thoughtful (not flippant or hurried) comment.

Do people around you feel felt because you were there?