Congratulations!

On Thursday my sister successfully defended her dissertation. She now holds a PhD in nursing education from Louisiana State University. Her dissertation was entitled, "The process of maintaining balance during the surgical wait." It is a grounded theory study in which she examined the experience of 34 adults in hospital waiting rooms while their loved one underwent surgery. I have all of her data, revisions, and the dissertation defense slides in a file on my computer which she titled, "Donna's Glorious Works," because she was afraid her computer would crash by accident and she would have nothing. So just as I sent her my data for safekeeping while I was writing my dissertation, she sent me hers. Donna is on the faculty of James Madison University in Harrisonburg, Virginia.

Today, a very dear friend successfully defended her dissertation at Emory University. Her degree is in religion and psychology. The study examined attachment styles of individuals who have large gaps in their memory (ie., who may not remember a year or years of their childhood or adolescence). Her data includes drawings of what it is like to be without memory, extensive interview transcripts, and findings from her attachment instrument. In her 380-page dissertation, she points out that individuals with memory gaps most often have serious attachment problems. I can't wait to read her tome (yikes! It's lonnnnng!) She will probably have the dissertation published as a book. This friend is the director of an institute that promotes the integration of spirituality and clinical work.

The process of writing a dissertation is a very isolating experience. This is especially painful for extroverts, who begin to feel desperate if left alone without being able to talk or be around people for too long. For example, just to find mental clarity in order to write about complex data means that one must go off alone and stare at a computer screen for hours, days, and weeks. If you don't work on your data at least twice a week, you forget what you were doing or how you were thinking last time you were "into the data." Then you have to take time and find your bearings once again. This goes on for several months in the beginning--particularly if you have lots of statistics to think about or interviews to code. After it become apparent that it takes too much time to continually reorient yourself to your work, the logical conclusion is that it would be better to cut back on work and throw yourself into it for hours each week. It may be an entire weekend day, or a couple afternoons per week. But it has to be worked on in blocks of time. If a friend asks you to go out for dinner during those sacrosanct times, you must refuse. If you do end up going out, all you can really think about is the rows of numbers in the tables you are constructing, or how to perform axial coding to include your field notes. People who are writing dissertations recognize that they can be extremely boring and socially off-kilter for the larger part of a year, if this is how long they are analyzing and writing. This is why people who have just defended their dissertation are like bats who are flushed out of a cave on a sunny day: squinting around at things they've only guessed about for so long. "Now I can do ________!" It never fails--this hope of finally realizing their goals by having time to quilt, do woodworking, write a novel, take up hiking, learn a language, or do nothing at all--this has kept them going for months.

I went through this as a newlywed. Sam and I got married in March. I defended my dissertation at the University of Minnesota in early July. I used to kiss him "goodbye" in the morning and retreat to the study, closing the door behind me so I wouldn't be distracted by his good looks. Usually I could stay in there for a couple hours at a time, but I would often burst out and rush into his arms for a quick hug, kiss, and heartfelt apology that I had to shut myself up like that. Coming out of that room at the end of the day, I was almost mute. Sam could talk about things he had seen and done, but I could not. There was nothing except statistical jargon about how I had run my ANOVA or regressions on SPSS. His eyes would glaze over if I even went there. So I was the proverbial bump on a log--smiling stupidly with nothing to talk about, only to listen and comment on things in the house. It was not fun. But Sam could not have been sweeter about it all. When I finally did defend, he was sitting right there across from me where I could see and feel his support.

So I salute two women of whom I am very proud. It is an enormous milestone and you both had to battle within and without just to get this degree. But you did it. May you both enjoy your time, and energy in new ways. And your PhD! I'm absolutely delighted!