On the cusp of a big day

Tomorrow I teach my first course entitled "Clinical-IV." It is supposed to be the capstone course in a series of four rather vague doctoral-level classes about professional development. I have absolutely no idea of what I'm doing in teaching this class!

The students first take a class entitled, "Meaning." It is about the ways we attribute meaning to things that happen in our lives. Postmodernist ideas are introduced as well as ways to include them in therapy. The second class is called "Natural Systems" and is about how to use oneself in therapy--our feelings, personalities, tendencies, beliefs, etc. The third course (and these are not given in order here) is called "Cybernetics," which covers general family systems theories. Now I'm saddled with a class that is supposed to help the students pull all of this together and help them create a theory of their own. They will then be able to discuss and demonstrate this theory and how they use it in something called a Qualifying Clinical Demonstration--set in front of all of their colleagues, formatted like a professional conference presentation is.

Sounds terrific, doesn't it? Only, I'm sitting here after burning out my brain all day, trying to figure out how in the world to teach this. What readings to use? How to create a syllabus? How on earth to discuss these issues for a three-hour slot every week? Is this something that could hold the interest of the students? Do I even know enough to be able to get them to think about what they do in therapy?

It's interesting and unfortunate that even though I finished my degree four years ago, I am studying more now than I ever did in school! This quarter I will have taught six classes, or 20 hours of graduate coursework--two of the courses I've never taught before. I am the professor of record for nine courses this term. I am also the chair of five dissertations and serving on four other dissertation committees. Oh my goodness...

So as I sit here, my brain freezing up, feeling dumber than dirt, I have to remind myself that this thing will come together somehow. I will just wake up tomorrow at the crack of dawn and try to put pen to paper and create something interesting.