Not just for the birds

There is an intersection that I love to see that is near the hospital where I drop off Sam every morning. The wires that transect high over the traffic are full of some sort of birds--a whole flock of them. But it's not just one wire in one direction, it's all four wires across north, south, east, and west-moving traffic. It is as though there is a ring of birds sitting above, watching the cars whizzing down under their feet. What amazes me is not that there are birds there, even though it is a rather busy intersection. It is that all the birds sit at fairly equal distances from one another. There they all are, lined up about a wingspan away from one another.

I wonder how they know, or how they learn what that desirable distance is.

I have thought about these birds many times as I've sat in my car, waiting for the light to turn green. How is it that these creatures know what is appropriate and humans, who are supposed to be capable of higher thought, can't seem to tell this? All those creepy types of men who stand too close in the checkout line at the grocery store, and who, right at your elbow, stare into your purse or almost lean against you. Or women who are not known to you, but they know who you are--feel they have a right to clasp you to their hearts in a fond embrace. Or to speak in a too-familiar style about things that make it hard to know how to respond. Nature knows what is acceptable.

These ideas sometimes swirl through my head as I sit at those stoplights. I have given the birds considerable thought recently. For some inexplicable reason, I think about some of the upcoming challenges I anticipate when I teach an intensive course in Peru in January. Some of my concerns are these: How will I know how to talk in culturally sensitive language about sensitive issues? Will I offend someone unwittingly? (Probably). How can I discuss issues like whether or not spanking is acceptable when I do not know the culture or common ideas? How do I talk about intimate violence when Peru has one of the highest rates in the Americas? What will they think of me when I offer my ideas about what I think is appropriate behavior for married couples in terms of conflict and conflict resolution? Or appropriate sexual expression? Or my ideas about childrearing?

But you know, every group knows, too. Each group has norms about what is appropriate: too much, too little, just about right. About where the line is that none should cross. I mustn't have all the answers, because the Peruvians have norms about what is acceptable. They have an old civilization and they can determine how to take in my words. One only has to look at the birds on the wires to realize that the good Lord has put some notion of normalcy and acceptability into every collection of creatures on this earth, from avian to homo sapien. What an interesting God.