Mother Out

Tomorrow my mother will be moving into her own apartment in a retirement center. We went there today to sign paperwork and get her keys. She is thrilled to finally have an address and know where her apartment will be.

She does however, have very mixed feelings about moving in there. I can't blame her. Everyone looks different than she does. Her hair is dark, she walks with a spring in her step, she laughs often. Many individuals use walkers and are rather limited in their activity there. Her first comment when we went there was a loud, "These people are so old!" There are actually more individuals there in the 90-100 category than many places in the US, so part of her observation was correct.

The bottom line is that she is not like many of the very elderly individuals and she feels like she is going off to the end of the earth to live there. The good part is that I live 2 miles away and will be having her with me as often as possible. It is a bittersweet feeling to have the privilege of helping my mother as she ages, but also seeing her age.

Mother always has been a going concern: canning vegetables, baking 6 loaves of bread every week, doing washing, keeping a huge garden, maintaining the house, sewing all of our clothes for many years. After my father died, she lost quite a bit of ground and her energy has decreased significantly. But for her age she is still a going concern.

Mother tells people that she is beginning a new chapter of her life and that she is looking forward to whatever her life will be like. We have offered for her to live with us, but she would be alone all day, every day while we're at work. In her new setting, there are daily activities, field trips, shopping trips, and clubs that meet several times per week. THere are art classes and Bible studies and evensong programs. The dining hall offers social opportunities three times a day and she will no longer have to cook anything.

And yet, in my mind, I hover over her, trying to anticipate anything she will need--trying to help ease the transition to apartment living. It will undoubtedly be difficult at times for her to get used to living in a small apartment after having a big farmhouse on an acre of land. Her foibles that have been apparent over the years are now exaggerated. She is opinionated but good natured; energetic and funloving.

I was not prepared for how life has turned out for her, but I am grateful to have Mother nearby. I pray daily that I will be gracious and supportive--a daughter who truly honors her parents. It has been good to have her live with us for three weeks and part of me is quite sad to see her move out on her own.