All I Need

My friend sounded very frightened on the phone today. "I don't tell anyone this but you," she began. "Because you're my friend..." I was silent, waiting to hear this privileged information.
"Are you there?"
"Yes. I'm just waiting."
"Oh. I don't tell anyone this. But I have no food. There is absolutely nothing in the fridge, nothing for the boys to eat. All my money is gone because I was sick."
"How are the boys eating then?"
"Oh, one of them has a credit card, or they go to their father's house to eat."

I have felt rather sorry for myself over the last couple weeks. I have made sure that my stepdaughters have the things they need for school, now that Sam and I are officially responsible for their care. And I have not been able to get the things I need for myself--not to mention, tucking money away in savings. Just yesterday, I was crying against Sam's chest. "I just want something to show for all that work getting a PhD. But..." I couldn't finish.
"Is it this house?" Sam knows that this house is a daily discouragement.
"No."
"Is it not having the clothes you want?"
"Yes. ...and other things."

All of this was lost in my consternation for my friend today. I had been contemplating sending money abroad for mission work, but here seemed to be a need in my own backyard. And the fact that my clothes are out of style is irrelevant when a person I know and love doesn't have food for herself and her family.

A couple hours later, as we put bag after bag of groceries away in her sparsely furnished cupboards, I realized just how much I do have. I'm healthy, happily married, employed, fulfilled (most of the time) at my job, respected in the community, and have the knowledge that I am loved on earth and in heaven. I have all the things that really matter.

On top of having all I need, I also have the pleasure--and it is a huge pleasure--to be able to give to someone else who has a need. As a child in a financially modest home (read, poor here), I despaired that I would ever have anything to give to anyone else. My mother baked bread and gave it away, along with vegetables from the garden. And that has always been my model for generosity. But this time I had the wherewithal to go beyond that, and it was a true gift.

I told this to Sam as I explained how I had just spent all that money. He is such a dear. "Now we know why God allowed us to put away that extra money in savings, don't we?" He paused and took a breath, looking kindly at me. "There are reasons for everything. We just can't always know why at the time. But look!" He threw out his arms for emphasis. "We know about this one."

We have all we need, and now someone else does, too. I am so blessed and so grateful.