Old hands, new hope

From a most excellent blog with beautiful photography

Since I moved to this town five months ago, I've been making regular visits to see an elderly couple. Etta has had a stroke and doesn't get around well. She spends most of her time in a recliner chair in the den. Jack however, is a going concern. Every morning he drives 2 miles to pick up the young woman who cares for Etta, brings her to the house and then takes her back home at 11:00 a.m. Then at 8:00 p.m. he picks her up again, brings her back home, where she helps Etta get ready for bed. Jack then drives her back to her own home at 9:30.

Jack is 94 and Etta is 95. They have been married for 73 years.

When I met these folks, my heart went out to them. They have no children and have lived alone in their own home for all these years. They have a beautiful condo in a gated community, and their house is spotless and comfortably furnished. No one should have to live by themselves like that with no one related to them to help them. Being the bleeding heart I am, I was immediately concerned when I first visited them. What if Etta falls on her way to the bathroom? Jack couldn't pick her off the floor. What if Jack has a heart attack while he's driving, or plows into someone with his huge boat of a car? What will she do if Jack dies? I realized that there are lots of qualities they have that my parents had: they are affectionate and live as a team. One lives for the other.

One afternoon during a telephone chat with Jack, he told me that he was grateful they could still be together in their own home. He had the slightest edge of concern in his voice as he added, "It now takes Etta 15 minutes to get to the bathroom and back. But we have to look at all that we've been given over the length of our lives, not just now."

When I visit these folks, there is not one iota of self-pity or concern about themselves. Life is what it is. They are content. Etta called me the other day to tell me that she'd found an ad in the local university paper that she felt I needed to investigate.
"Here's what it says. [I could hear papers rustling in the background]. Are you ready to write it down?"
"Yup."
He-he..."It's one of those computer addresses: double-ya double-ya double-ya dot homeseeker dot com. Does that sound right?"
"I'll check it out."
"You never know Barbara, it might be just the ticket."
"That would be wonderful."

Later in our conversation I asked her if I could bring over Thanksgiving dinner to them.
"Oh, that's sweet of you, Barbara. Let me ask Jack."
She dropped the phone onto her bosom and yelled at the top of her lungs, "Jack! Barbara wants to bring us Thanksgiving dinner. You have everything, don't you?"
A muffled response from another room.
"Okay."
"Barbara, he has everything for dinner. We're going to have turkey breast, sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, and string beans. Jack has everything to make a pumpkin pie. So I think we're all set. But thanks anyway!"

That dear old man is cooking their own dinner and is just as happy to do so. They are self-contained. What a miracle that is in itself. But that they can do all that they are able to do is a real testament to positive thinking, healthy living, a good relationship and faith in God. So I moved from my position of pity for them to gratitude for such examples. They don't need me as much as I need them.

I smiled as I hung up the phone. I have to figure out what I'll be cooking for our Thanksgiving dinner.