A Real Hero

I've recently become acquainted with a woman who is the strongest, most determined woman I think I've ever met. When I listen to her tell her story, I feel like a rather weak-kneed, dilatory sap.
I could never do what she has done: escape from an abusive marriage, face her abuser in court over custody battles regarding their child, then live through the realization that he was abusing that child. This mother did what had to be done to protect her baby, even when that meant going to court 30 times, traveling across state lines, and being wanted for kidnapping her child. She fought a legal system in one of the darkest states in the country that was populated by good ole' boys who protected abusers because the laws did nothing for women or children in their situation. For several years, the courts notwithstanding, she had to watch her child struggle with the father's abuse. He told her once that he would wear her out with court visits and stress. Since this woman has Crohn's, and stress inflames one's bowels, she now has an unpredictable and very unhealthy GI system.

But she ultimately got her child away from her abuser.
Her child is happily married to a good man, and she has children of her own.
Her child is a church-going, good-hearted woman who is trying to recover from years of abuse by her father.
Her child has had a difficult time seeing beyond what happened. Had her mother not given up her money, time, energy, and even health, her child would not have survived childhood. But she thrives today--because her mother threw down her life to save the life of her child.

My friend has been hospitalized for her Crohn's too many times to count. She has had inflamatory episodes, gone on TPN (intravenous feedings), been unable to eat, had uncontrollable diarrhea and cramping, and thought she was going to die, over and over. But she never gave in. He couldn't kill her spirit.

This is only one of the several things that this woman has overcome in her life. She came from a difficult home situation. Yet she is not bitter and she worked hard to give her family a better life. She has a generous spirit, a happy-go-lucky personality, and is a very creative person.

She has worked for people who abused her and nearly ruined her, financially, socially, and spiritually. They are highly esteemed and have prestige and loads of money. No one would believe the hideous behavior of these people. And yet even though they threatened and tried, they couldn't kill her or take away her faith.

Why am I writing about this--about a woman only two readers would even know? Because she feels that she is a failure as a mother; that she is weak, small, and insufficient. She has been too busy doing the next thing that needs doing to be able to get the distance she needs to be objective about all that she has endured. But heroes are not made of stronger stuff than she is.

There is no greater love, and therefore, no greater person, than she who holds back nothing, but gives to ensure the life of her child.