Who are you?

More letters to God here

Many of us love the Jesus we read about in the Bible. He is our friend and we can ask Him for anything--the Bible tells us so. He healed people, was kind to the marginalized, was demonstrative with children, and He thought out of the box. And yet, so many people didn't like things about Him. They loved His miracles, but didn't particularly like the new order that He represented. He was friends with all the people who had been cast off by the good folks of the day: prostitutes, tax collectors (read, swindlers), and even women. As far as someone to relate to, He was probably the most magnetic personality ever seen on this planet. People could hardly resist Him. But when it came to recognizing Him as the Lord of all life, the Son of God, that was quite another story. The Person and the Position were not equally welcomed or recognized.

Probably some sort of intuitive thought about this has crossed my mind before, but I've never articulated it. Until this week when I found that my person and position are in quite different camps of acceptance, I have been baffled by the firestorm that has accompanied some of my comments in meetings, or the ideas I've presented. Yet outside of those settings, I am met with open arms. There are times when I speak from the role which I hold in my organization in which I have to remind myself that the responses that I receive are not about me, Barbara. They are about me, the director, the new lightning rod. Quite frankly, I find it rather difficult to keep these things separate in my head. I suppose that very good, experienced administrators are able to do this. I'm struggling with it.

I suppose that I am not a monolithic entity, nor is anyone else. We see people for the emotional qualities they have that compliment us or fill some need of our own. We have much more difficulty in recognizing the role or position of that individual as we relate to them.

One of the things that we therapists help people with is this very thing: distinguishing the content of friendships from the process of the relationship. In other words, identifying what the friendship gives a person at face value (companionship, a laughing partner, someone to think aloud with, or to get a reality check from) versus understanding how to relate to the position that individual holds in one's life (a rescuer, support, a triangulated individual, etc.).

Looking up at the sky on my walk this morning, I began thinking about the difference of person and position as it relates to God. It seems that most of my attraction for God is about who He appeared to be when seen through the life of Jesus Christ. But I seldom think about the position of God: the fact that He is the highest level of power in the universe, or that He got the world started in the first place, or that He is the force behind my heart beating every second.

There is a potential problem here. If I only think of God as some sort of invisible friend to whom I can talk at any time, He will take on characteristics of my making. I will begin to take the power and create Him as I see fit. This is seen in all sorts of churches where people say things that put God in a one-down position: declarative things one would never, ever say to a human prelate or ruler. But if I think of God only as some type of impersonal heavenly powerhouse, there will be very little motivation to know or interact with Him through prayerful conversation.

I think it was God's idea to let us know the warm, appealing person of God in the life of Jesus, then to show us the position of God later so we wouldn't be scared of Him. For many people, it's been just the opposite, due to the way they were raised or what they were taught in Sunday school.

I love the story that comes from my religious tradition: A little old lady used to go into the vineyards of St. Helena and visit with the workers. She would take them something to drink and ask about their wives and children. She always had a cheerful, kind word for them. Many times, she told them that God loved them. So they thought of her as the little old lady who loved God. She was delightful company and they looked forward to her frequent visits. When they learned that she had died, they went to her funeral, only to find out that she had written lots of books, was a world traveler, and had been instrumental in establishing a new denomination. They would not have had any interest in her had they learned about her position before they knew her person.

...he that hath seen me hath seen the Father. John 14:9