No Fear

This morning I was reading Martin Luther's commentary on the book of Galatians in the Bible. I had gotten up out of bed rather early, with a sincere desire to connect with God by meditating on His Word. So I opened up Galatians and started in. It had been awhile since I really spent time meditating this way, and my soul was starved for God. I could understand how the Psalmist, David, wrote so many times how his "heart and flesh cry out for the living God," and things to that effect.

I have also noticed that when a person is well read or well educated, much of what is read cannot be taken at face value, period. There are so many other theories or ideas, or experiences in the mind, that one becomes distracted by trying to make it all fit together. So the most simple scriptural declaration is food for equivocation. When this happens to me, I often find my mind wandering off onto other areas and latching onto other oblique issues. It keeps my mind busy, but I can't quite capture the true meaning of the verse, for example. It's similar to the experience one has when looking into the sky on a sunny day. It's easier to see what is in the sky when not looking directly at it, but sideways, or with peripheral vision. This is my experience reading the Bible. It makes me wonder if I have ADD sometimes because this behavior feels like that characteristic distractibility must feel.

So I struggle off and on, annoyed with myself for always getting my mind hijacked. I've seen preachers who can quote Bible verses--huge portions of scripture--and my mind is a perfect blank. I can quote a few Psalms, and a couple portions of chapters that correspond with Handel's Messiah. But other than that, there's not a lot that is immediately accessible to me. I can quote along with other people who are reading the Bible aloud, so it's not unfamiliar to me. But to bring it to mind when I want it makes me go blank and I wonder if I really know anything at all in the Good Book. It is easy to lose the assurance of salvation if you can't bring to mind enough verses to support what you know in your heart is true.

With this feeling of despair that I will ever be a good Bible student, that I will never be able to explain to anyone else why I believe what I do, or help anyone along their spiritual path, I picked up my Bible this morning and turned to Galatians. I should be so lucky to get it straight in my own mind why I believe in God and believe that there is hope for me as a sinner.

"Oh foolish Galatians..." I'd read this so many times before.

That's another thing. When you grow up a Christian and hear hundreds of sermons about every conceivable thing, it's hard to read the Bible with a clear, unbiased mind without hearing the chorus of voices intoning numerous interpretations and meanings about what you're trying to read. In a few minutes I was distracted by Otis. He always wants to play first thing in the morning and he yowls until I flick his feathery toy around on the couch for him to chase. In a few minutes I was miles away from Galatia. I really needed something to anchor my thoughts and bring me reassurance for the hope that I have. On the internet, I found Martin Luther's commentary on the book of Galatians. It helped me stay focused. Here is a statement that leapt out at me and that was so concrete, specific, and clear that I immediately felt relief, hope, joy, and gratefulness all at once:

By His resurrection Christ won the victory over law, sin, flesh, world, devil, death, hell, and every evil. And this His victory He donated unto us. These many tyrants and enemies of ours may accuse and frighten us, but they dare not condemn us, for Christ, whom God the Father has raised from the dead is our righteousness and our victory.

Jesus is my righteousness and my victory. It is not my faulty memory, my distractible mind, my insufficient scholarship. Jesus is my righteousness. There is nothing more complete than Jesus, no lack of anything in Him. He is also my victory. My habits of self denial or self-control, as good as they are, are not my victory. Jesus is. My talents and ability to do some things has nothing to do with my acceptability with God. Jesus is my righteousness and my victory--even though I'm a sinner and sometimes feel as though I'm falling apart at the seams. He is all that I need. What more is there?