Empty Spots

One summer in 1982 I was thrown together with four guys from Germany, when I went to visit my friend in Northern California. One of the boys had gone to school with my friend in England. Most unexpectedly, here they were visiting on the very weekend I had chosen to visit her.
I didn't like the idea of being upstaged by four good-looking European men, even though they were pleasant. They had run out of money and wanted to visit Southern California, where I just happened to live. Nevertheless, in spite of my initial discomfort and shyness, I invited them to come down to visit for a couple weeks and offered to loan my car if they would just come. My friend's house was vacant across the street, so these new friends had a place to stay for free for two weeks.

It was such a magical time. There were a number of days that we just went off to the beach and spent the day lying in the sun, talking, or window shopping. The youngest brother, standing to the left of me in this picture, had the most difficult time with English so he was very quiet and shy. One day, the three of us rolled up into a quilt on the beach and fell asleep--it was very windy and we were cold. The youngest asked in German if this was immoral, as he fell asleep. I remember laughing to myself because he didn't know that I could understand what he had said. Bless him, he didn't want anyone to be able to say he had slept with me!

By the end of the two weeks bonds formed that have endured to the present time. I consider them my brothers who just happen to live in Germany.

It's been about six years since I've seen them. We are middle aged adults now. We are all happily married. I wonder sometimes if I would be in their circle of friends given the lives they now lead. Our sense of humor is different; one of us has beliefs quite different from the others; our lives have taken us in very different directions. Yet when we meet together, it is as though we never were apart--and we continue to reach toward one another from time to time. We all seem to know that we always have a place in each other's hearts, no matter what.

It's one of the pains of living on this imperfect earth: not everyone we love can be nearby. And so we go on through life with the sweetness of knowing that there are people far away who we hold dear, but whose absence gives us empty spots in our souls.