Temptation #2

At the end of His life, Jesus instructed the disciples to pray so that they wouldn't give in to temptation. Here is the second of eleven temptations or tests they, and we, face in this life.

2. The organization is more important than the mission. Getting caught up in the politics of personality rather than focusing on the end goal.
This stems from grappling over who will be the greatest. The greatest in what sphere? Some sort of group or organization that has meaning to the individual.
The disciples were thinking about the Kingdom of God, which they supposed, would be an earthly kingdom, complete with power and jurisdiction over their enemies. As they watched Jesus perform miracles, silence the Pharisees and gather popularity with the people, it was only natural that they should begin to plan how they would fit into the picture. Especially since they comprised the inner circle.
Judas seemed to have more clout than the others because he managed the money they had in common. John, who in his Gospel called himself, "The one the Lord loved," felt a particularly special bond with Jesus and perhaps some entitlement from that. Peter was an active figure in the Gospels. There are stories about Peter that make us roll our eyes: trying to walk on the water, anxiety-driven jabbering at the Transfiguration, slicing off the ear of the high priest's servant. There were James and John, the "Sons of Thunder," whose mother was pushing them to succeed with this new Galilean teacher.
But there they were, arguing about who would be the greatest and trying to exert power and influence over their colleagues. It was easy to become blind to the purpose for which they were called and focus on trying to create something more concrete and practical.
It's interesting to note that the disciples never did move ahead toward their mission until they let go of their focus on the "who's who" of the organization--a lesson that is particularly salient in my life just now. Perhaps my issues are a bit different, but the end result is the same.

It has been very easy to criticize the organization in which I find myself. It is an organization that purports to be more healthy, more spiritual, and more correct than other such entities. I used to view this organization with undimmed admiration, grateful for my place in it. Then I became a therapist and started seeing the seamy underside of major players in it. It was devastating: people abusing their children; clueless administrators placing employees in harm's way; overt obstructions of justice; racist and sexist practices; hackneyed explanations for unhealthy and outdated procedures; affairs between high-powered leaders--you name it--it's all there. In this confusing and disappointing whirl, I began looking at the organization and stopped looking at the mission. It was only natural, and it was maddening.

In fact, I cut ties with the organization for close to a year. I felt that lack of association would remove all traces of the abuses of the system from my psyche. It didn't. It made me bitter, isolated, and inaccessible for two long years.
To trace my path from that point to my current landing place would bore Freud. Suffice it to say, I am now working at a place I said I never would, working with people form whom I said I'd never work, and part of a larger organization that I resented and disparaged for a very long time. And there has been healing of a magnitude that I never imagined possible.
However, my workplace has been a swirl of conflict and sleight of hand; an angry hotbed of passive-aggressive behavior, back-stabbing, sweet trickery. My indignation at the disparity between the espoused ideal and reality kept me focused on personalities and the organization. Partly to survive. Partly out of shock.

Jesus was frustrated with the way the disciples behaved: their lack of faith, foolish questions, spiritual ineptitude. Yet He stayed with them, redirecting their attempts and molding them into God-focused, mission-focused people.

Pray that you enter not into temptation. It seems that focusing on the mission of my organization and the spiritual goals for my life, is what Jesus would want for me: a steady look up at Christ and out at the world. What can I do here? How can I serve? Who can my actions and words bless? Am I able to relieve distress and point someone else to look beyond the fragile human experience long enough to recognize that our lives are about God, not about what we see here? The organization can be a tool to achieve these ends. But if, for some reason, it is not, the mission still exists and is mine to follow.

Lord, give me eyes to see beyond my daily life circumstances, and a heart that is so in tune with You that the oddities and troubles of earthly life will not obscure my real purpose on this earth.