Back Talk

We once had a labrador retriever that could clear our livingroom in about 20 seconds. Without warning, a malevolent effluvium would drift over the room. It was unmistakable that it had come from his direction. My father would turn in his chair, fan the air vigorously, and say to the dog, "Ugh, Ceasar--STENCH!" And poor mortified Ceasar would get up from in front of the bookcase and with tail between his legs, slink back to the sewing room. We later learned that Ceasar had been helping himself to corn out in the garden, and it just did not agree with him.
I don't know what it is about farting that is so hilarious. Perhaps it is the unexpectedness of it, or the variety of sounds, or the fact that even the most dignified person makes these surprising noises. One of my friends sounds like a drum roll every time she gets up out of her chair. Another friend, of "silent but violent" fame, cleared out an entire dressing area at Talbot's with her contributions to the ambiance. One person I know sounds like a firing range when he laughs. Still another friend stepped into a store and as she opened her mouth to greet the proprietor, unexpectedly let fly with a volley of small explosions. She couldn't get back out the door fast enough!
I was in church once with a three year-old child, whom I had volunteered to watch while her mother took care of baby brother. As we were singing the third verse of "Rescue the Perishing," I felt a tug on my dress. Little One was looking up at me urgently. "Excuse me!" she said loudly in a chirpy little voice. Impressed with her politeness, I bent down to this child who hated to interrupt my singing. "What is it?" She smiled with satisfaction and shouted out over the swell of the singing, "I just farted so I needed to tell you 'scuse me." The man in the row ahead of us finished the last verse of the hymn with a broad grin, and I could hear the couple behind us chortling through the last lines.
Nature's little jokes, farts: cheap entertainment. Little reminders that we are human, every one of us.